Rating: 4.5 out of 5

4.5 Robert Downey Heads

A lot of things happened during last week’s episode of Game of Thrones. In a span of 45 minutes, we were able to witness how eunuch-sex works (surprisingly sexy), endure an unsanctioned and extremely painful looking surgery (ginawang longganisang hubad si Jorah), and Euron Greyjoy doing his best George Estregan Jr. impersonation (ibig sabihin nandilat yung mata niya at nilabas niya yung dila niya habang tumatawang parang baliw). How it’s able to fit a lot of elements and storylines in a single episode is what makes Game of Thrones so great. But in this week’s episode, parang may feeling na mas marami pang nangyari than usual e, even considering that there was a relative lack of action scenes in this week’s episode.

Sis, may tagos ka. Takpan mo lang ng balabal, sige.

It’s probably due to the fact that the stakes feel like they are greater than ever before. And because arguably the two most important characters of the show finally met after six seasons. Yes, boys and girls of all ages, Jon “KING OF THE NORTH” Snow has finally come face to face with the one and only Daenerys “MOTHER OF DRAGONS” Targaryen! In the world of Game of Thrones this is like Kobe and LeBron finally meeting in the NBA Finals! (Sa mga hindi nanunuod ng NBA, they never did.) Eto na ang simula ng tambalang “JoNaerys”!

Before we get to the meat of the review, let’s do a recap of the things that happened this week shall we?

When Jon Met Dany

“Davos, di mo dala yung Krispy Kreme?! Nakakahiya bisita tayo wala tayong bitbit!”

The episode opens with Jon Snow landing on the beaches of Dragonstone and being greeted by a small party headed by Tyrion and three f*cking dragons. Daaaaamn! Power move agad tong si Dany e! Gusto ko tong play ni Dany dito walang paligoy-ligoy! If three big ass dragons can’t put the fear of god in you, congratulations kasi mas malaki ang yagbols mo kesa kay The Mountain. What follows is a tense verbal fencing between Daenerys and Jon with both of them rehashing decades-old family issues between the Starks and the Targaryens. Mabibilib ka rin kay Jon kasi kakakita lang niya na may tatlong dragon na lumilipad sa labas ng castle pero hindi siya mapaluhod ni Dany. Pag inisip mo, baka nga mas malaki ang yagbols niya sa yagbols ni The Mountain! And I really liked how Ser Davos stood up for Jon to the point of awkwardness. Imagine mo kung may gumawa ng testimonial sayo sa Friendster pero sa harapan mo binasa tapos narinig ng buong classroom. Ganun e. (Testi pls.)

With a little help from Tyrion, Dany and Jon finally reach a compromise and forge an uneasy alliance. Jon gets his Dragonglass, Dany gets an ally in the North. But with her armies faltering, I wonder what their strategy is? Uunahin mo ba si Cersei o uunahin mo si Night King? And at this point, I’m not sure which one I’d rather face really.

The Gift is Ellaria Sand

Hula ko papaabutin ni Cersei sa Season 8 yung pag torture kay Ellaria Sand.

There have been many theories as to what Euron’s gift to Cersei could be. My personal theory was that it was going to be Tyrion just because that would really break the internet if that happened. (Magsasagawa ako ng maliit na rally sa EDSA Shrine pag namatay si Tyrion isasali ko kayo sa Viber group hintayin niyo) At this point meron pa bang untouchable sa Game of Thrones? We’re literally 10 episodes from the show being over so I think anyone is fair game.

But it didn’t take long for us to see who Euron’s gift was after the events that transpired last week. Euron’s navy has captured Ellaria Sand and her daughter, as well as Yara Greyjoy and are now at King’s Landing. Can you just imagine what Cersei will do to Ellaria Sand? This is a woman who walked the streets naked while the whole city threw ungodly things at her. Ang daming hugot ni Cersei sa buhay e di ba? Kung si “Shame Nun” nga tinali niya tapos pina-rape niya sa zombie version ni The Mountain, ano tingin mong gagawin niya sa pumatay sa anak niya? Things aren’t looking good for Ellaria Sand. Hers might be the most painful death in all of Game of Thrones.

But I have to say though, I’m starting to like Euron Greyjoy and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I don’t think we’re supposed to like him if he’s a villain, right? Hindi siya baliw na kontrabida e, baliw lang talaga siya period. Hindi ba kayo nag enjoy na inaasar niya si Jaime about sleeping with Cersei right in front of everyone? Ulol e! You’d have to be a special kind of crazy to do that. Right now in the “palakihan ng yagbols” category, nangunguna si The Mountain, sunod si Jon Snow, tapos si Euron, tapos si Littlefinger.

Jorah Mormont, Human Tocino

He’s alive! If he didn’t die from the operation, I was almost sure that he’d die from an infection dahil kung ano anong hinahawakan ni Samwell Tarly. Mukha nga lang siyang tocino ngayon, pero at least hindi siya taong bato di ba? As for Samwell Tarly, this is one of the characters in Game of Thrones that I really like. I actually like him more than Arya or Sansa to be honest; mas invested lang ako sa kanila kasi Stark sila. So it would really suck if before the season ends, Tarly looks at his arm and he sees Greyscale. (Hintayin niyo yung text ko sa Viber group natin pag nangyari yan kasi mag rarally rin tayo para diyan)

Bran Comes Home

Parang natetempt si Sansa na sabunutan si Petyr Baelish sa bigote

Back in Winterfell, Sansa seems to be hitting her stride as the person in charge. Naturally, nakasunod nanaman sa kanya si bigoteng tinubuan ng tao na si Littlefinger. Hate on Littlefinger all you want, but you actually have to pay attention every time he gives an advice. He usually drops nuggets of knowledge. Of course the only caveat is most of his advice is self-serving and furthers his own agenda. But he’s nonetheless effective. Two episodes in and I was confident that Sansa would be smarter this time around and wouldn’t be swayed, but now I’m not so sure anymore.

We also saw the return of Bran to Winterfell in this episode but it felt a bit anti-climactic because most of us were probably guessing that it would be Arya. Ewan ko kung bakit, pero parang may rule sa Game of Thrones na pag nag reunite ang mga Stark siblings kailangan dalawa-dalawa lang hindi pwedeng mas marami kasi pag dating ni Bran wala naman si Jon. Anyway, Bran has transformed ever since he became the Three-Eyed Raven. He now speaks in riddles and he seems devoid of emotion. So basically he acts like your emo younger sibling na gusto mong kutusan. I’m interested in seeing how affects the bigger picture though. At this point, he might be the only person alive who knows of Jon’s parentage. Can he show Jon the same flashback we saw last season?

Goodbye, Olenna

Di ko na mapapanuod yung pangarap kong isang buong episode na nagbabatuhan lang ng insulto si Olenna Tyrell at Lyanna Mormont 

There was relatively less action in this week’s episode with the showrunners opting to fast-track the taking of Casterly Rock by Greyworm and the Unsullied.  I was expecting to see a grandiose battle scene since Casterly Rock is a very important piece of real estate in the story of Game of Thrones. But I can’t say that I disagree with the direction they went with, opting with a narration from Tyrion instead as he laid out his plans and it unfolded in real-time. But doing it this way makes sense because like Jaime said, Casterly Rock is not that important in the scheme of things and the Lannisters have an eye on a bigger prize: High Garden.

One of the things that I enjoyed so much in this episode was the greater than usual writing, especially during conversations between the major players in the story. But the best one was probably the conversation between Jaime and Olenna Tyrell. Olenna is one of those characters that you’d hate to see get killed pero pag inisip mo, wala na siyang masyadong sense sa kwento moving forward e. But I liked how they handled her death. It’s unlike any of the deaths we’ve seen in Game of Thrones where most of the characters died in a gruesome way. (Tywin died on the shitter!) A death like that would have been beneath her character. They mostly left it off camera and she still had the last say in the conversation! Can you fucking believe that?! Ang galing nitong lolang to! Mamamatay na lang pero may huling hirit pa kay Jaime at kay Cersei e! “Onga pala pakisabi kay Cersei, ako pumatay sa anak niyang tukmol.” BAD ASS.

I also liked how that same conversation further shows us that out of all of Jaime’s faults, his biggest is his devotion to Cersei. Seryoso, pag inisip mo Jaime’s not that bad. Kumag lang siya para kay Cersei at sa mga anak niya e. I think you can also credit the writing and the acting of Nikolaj Coster-Waldau that he was able to humanize an incestuous child-killing person like Jaime Lannister.

Tyrion Lannister, you da real MVP.

Despite the lack of fireworks this week, this has got to be my favorite episode yet for Season 7 because of the great dialogue. I enjoyed that foreboding conversation between minor characters like Varys and Melissandre about dying in Westeros, as well as the meatier dialogues between Dany-Jon, Jon-Tyrion, and Tyrion- Dany. Episode 3 also proves that if you give Peter Dinklage enough speaking lines, he can remind you why Tyrion is so famous among fans. He’s literally the power and the brains behind the throne; behind the thrones of Dany and Jon in fact. This episode will probably be remembered as the one where Dany and Jon met or the one where Olenna met her demise. Pwede ring yung episode na nakabalik na si Bran sa Winterfell. But I’ll probably remember this episode as the one that saw Tyrion’s brilliance come back to the forefront.


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  1. You know it’s all over when the Rains of Castamere starts to play in the background. You know a house is being extinguished down to its very roots when the violin starts to pick up the pace of the ever-familiar musical death score. The Roses wilted on the claws of the Lions.

    And we know too well, even us, viewers are dying along with the hum and the strum — along with the swish of knife, the stroke of spear, the dance of flames, the kiss of death, and along with the goblet of wine.

    P.S. Unnella was the name of the septa who was chanting ‘shame’ during Cersei’s walk of atonement.


      1. Half of me is thrilled whenever it catches the string and the other half is already mourning. Lols. And ang saket, everytime, pero at the same time, medyo sadistic pakinggan pero there’s no more fitting way to end their role but die. F*ck Jamie, though, Lady Olenna doesn’t know how to shut her mouth. Lols

        P.S. What a name. Haha.


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