Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we only have two episodes of Game of Thrones left before we temporarily say goodbye to the show that makes our Mondays a little bit more bearable. And if the events in this week’s episode are any indication, big things are coming in these final two weeks. And just like a bad break up, the show will surely leave us brokenhearted with our mouths open wondering what the hell just happened. But before we discuss the things that transpired in this episode, be warned that the night is dark and full of spoilers so read on only if you’re ready to talk about it.

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C’mon Jaime, let “BrieMe” happen baka maunahan ka pa ni Thormund!

Black Fish Down

In Riverrun, Jaime Lannister and Blackfish Tully are at a stand-off. Blackfish won’t surrender and Jaime needs to take back Riverrun so he can go home to Cersei. Having been sent by Sansa, Brienne arrives at the siege of  and tells Jaime of her plan to persuade Blackfish to go North to help Sansa take back Winterfell. As expected, Blackfish refuses. As a final ace up his sleeve, Jaime convinces his captive and the rightful Lord of Riverrun Edmure Tully to tell his men to relinquish the castle to the Lannister army. Not one to surrender, the Blackfish fights off the invaders and dies off screen.

Jaime’s whole speech to Edmure about his love for Cersei and not wanting anything else but to go back to her is so heartfelt that you sometimes forget that he’s actually talking about his sister. Di sa jinujudge ka namin Jaime ah pero pwede bang si Brienne na lang? There’s obviously something going on between the two of you. Oo, malamang saksakin ka niyan habang tulog pag nambabae ka pero at least hindi na incest diba? So now that Jaime can go back to Cersei in King’s Landing, what exactly will he find when he gets back? Will he be too late? Well if something happens to Cersei there’s always Brienne for you, Jaime. Sige na! Make “BrieMe” happen, Kingslayer!

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Hands down winner of the “Worst Son” award.

Cersei chooses violence.

Back in King’s Landing, Cersei is licking her wounds after being humiliated by the High Sparrow and the rest of the city during her infamous Walk of Atonement. The plan she hatched with Jaime and Olenna Tyrell to free Margaery has failed miserably thanks to his weakling of a son. Luckily for Cersei, she has the Mountain to protect her and you’d have to be the dumbest person in Westeros to even think about going against this monster. It’s really a testament to the show’s writing that we’re suddenly rooting for a villain like Cersei. But Tommen declares a decree forbidding trial by combat which was the only chance Cersei had of surviving her ordeal.

A show of hands, who thinks Tommen is worse than Joffrey? Sure, Joffrey was a homicidal maniac who found joy in torturing innocent people. But doing this to your own mother, Tommen? Even for Game of Thrones standards, that has to be pretty low. For his eventual walk of atonement, imbis na may babaeng nagsasabi ng “shame” sa likod niya sana sundan siya ng nag-gigitarang Freddie Aguilar habang kumakanta ng “Anak”. Isapuso mo yang kantang yan, Tommen.

So what’s going happen to next? Well, do you remember the episode where an old witch told Cersei that all three of her children will die? Two are already dead and only Tommen survives. So if you’re a betting man, it’s probably not smart to bet on Tommen living beyond this season. Cersei has been uncharacteristically quiet so it’s impossible that she doesn’t have anything planned for the Sparrows.

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You know your such a badass when you don’t even have to say anything and people bow down.

Queen of Meereen

In Meereen, things are starting to look up for Tyrion and his humorless companions. In the absence of Daenerys, he’s brokered an agreement between Meereen and the Masters of Astapor. Greyworm is even starting to tell (bad) jokes! Missandei is learning how to drink wine! If this goes on, eventually pwede mo na silang isama sa Palace Pool Club! However, the celebration is cut short when they are suddenly attacked by the Masters. But then Daenerys comes to the rescue! Daenerys or “Dany” to those close to her such as myself, was recently being held captive by the Dothrakis. Insulting the Mother of Dragons is never a good idea and the Khals found out the hard way.

So what’s next for Khaleesi and company? Is her dragon enough to fight off the fleet of ships currently bombarding Meereen? Has she already managed to transport her army of Dothraki horsemen? Can she expect help from the Greyjoy ships that are supposedly on the way?

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Pinagod pagod ka kakatakbo tapos hindi mo sasaksakin? Sugatan mo man lang sa mukha nagpapalit naman ng mukha yan e!

A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and she’s going home.

The last time we saw Arya Stark, she was stumbling along the streets of Braavos after being brutally attacked by the Waif. She’s been spending the last two seasons in Braavos training to be an assassin. But for her final test where she was tasked to kill a stage actress by the name of Lady Crane, she backed out. And now she’s on the run because the Waif is out to get her. But she survived the attack and found her way to the actress. Lady Crane nurses her back to health but it doesn’t take long for the Waif to find them. She kills Lady Crane and pursues Arya but Arya somehow manages to lead her to where she’s hiding “needle” her sword. We then see Arya visit the Faceless Man and adds the face of the Waif on the walls of the House of Black and White.

So after all that trouble Arya just tells Jaqen that she’s leaving? And Jaqen’s okay with it? Bakit ba init na init si Waif kay Arya to begin with, type niya ba si Jaqen? Ang hanap niya ba sa lalaki yung hindi kumukurap ang mata? The internet had a lot of theories regarding the Arya storyline. Some theories even go so far as to suggest that Arya and the Waif were one person. Turns out people were just overthinking and the storyline was pretty straightforward. So Arya says she’s going home. But what will she do next? Will she cross paths with the Hound? Will she go to Jon and Sansa?

While not as exciting as the previous ones, it certainly seems like this episode is setting us up for something big. We already know that Jon and Ramsay will battle it out in the next episode and it seems like there’s a huge battle going on in Meereen as well. With her trial coming up, can Jaime come back to protect Cersei just in time? With the next two episodes rumored to have a running time of about an hour and a half, we’ll sure to have all our answers before the season ends.

 

7/10. Not the best Game of Thrones episode but still good nonetheless. It was nice to finally close the book on Arya’s “Faceless Man” storyline since she’s so isolated from the rest of the characters. Overall, this episode seems like it’s setting us up for even bigger revelations in the coming weeks. 

I occasionally write for FHM Philippines and by occasionally I mean “isang beses pa lang”. But do check it out here and read articles from other authors as well: http://www.fhm.com.ph/author/rey-de-la-cruz-jr

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