Murder. Rape. Fear. Corruption. Betrayal.

No ladies and gentleman, I’m not here to talk about the Philippine Presidential Elections. I’m here to talk about something far less worse but with more gratuitous nudity: Game of Thrones. Yes, April nanaman so that means it’s time once again for Game of Thrones to grace our lives for a couple of weeks, ruin it completely with the brutal and unexpected death of our favorite characters, then leave us hanging for the next 10 months wondering kung sinong mag-aalaga sa naiwang aso ni Jon Snow. This is also the time that I check Facebook a lot less out of fear of someone na mag popost ng spoiler sa wall niya kasi feeling niya nakakatawa yung ginagawa niya. (Fun fact: I have unfriended someone for doing that so let this be a warning that I take my Game of Thrones watching very seriously. Sorry, mom!)

But we can’t talk about Game of Thrones without giving away a few spoilers so if you haven’t seen the first episode yet, turn back you White Walker! For those of you who have seen it, let’s begin.

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If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? – Jon Snow Patrol

Unless talagang dilat lang siya at nakatingin sa stars, Season 6 begins with Jon Snow still pretty much dead. Rumors circulating around the net after Season 5 ended was that Jon Snow was still alive dahil daw may kakaibang kislap ang kanyang mga mata. We’ve also seen the Red Haired Woman bring the dead back to life and since parang may pagnanasa naman siya sa Junjun ni Jon Snow, she might be able to do that for him. It doesn’t take long for us to find out that she’s now in Castle Black after leaving Stannis Baratheon in a battle against Ramsay Bolton (who wins the Joffrey Lannister award for “the person everyone wants to see die a painful death while choking on his own blood”). But of course, dahil pati tayo nilalandi ni Melisandre, hindi muna niya binuhay agad si Jon Snow. Pero bubuhayin nga ba niya? Kaya pa ba niyang buhayin? Let’s get back to her later.

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James Harden joins the cast in Season 6.

The rest of the episode serves to keep us updated on what’s been going on with the lives of the rest of the characters. Dahil ang haba ng break between seasons at sa dami ng characters sa Game of Thrones, minsan mahirap rin sundan kung ano na ba talaga nangyari dun sa previous season. So si Sansa at Theon hinahabol ng mga tao ni Ramsay “Mamatay Ka Na” Bolton pero sa wakas nahanap na sila ni Brienne and Podrick AKA God’s gift to women. Si Arya bulag at nanlilimos habang binubully nung babaeng mukhang batang Tilda Swinton. Si Stannis daw patay na talaga (although di pa rin pinapakita yung katawan niya). Si Khaleesi nahuli ng mga lalaking nakahubad na minamanyak siya at pinag-iisipan kung terno ba yung kulay ng carpet dun sa drapes (if you know what I mean). Nalaman na ni Cersei na patay na si Myrcella so kailangan na nilang gumawa ng bagong incest-baby ni Jaime. Tyrion is left to deal with the rebellion and deliver penis-jokes at the expense of Varys with Daenerys currently MIA.

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Another feel good moment from the show’s many feel good moments.

But the show is quick to remind us that this is Game of Thrones that we’re watching. So unlike other TV shows like The Walking Dead that will spend the first few episodes establishing a new conflict for the characters, sa Game of Thrones hindi ganun. May mga casualties agad! Which is one of the reasons why the show is so great because it doesn’t shy away from killing major characters in the story. It is a fantasy show sure pero it’s very similar to real life where people die unexpectedly. Kahit yung mabait, kahit yung hindi dapat mamatay, kahit yung gusto mong character.

Pero mabalik tayo kay Melisandre. From the title of the episode alone alam natin na siya ang importante dito. We don’t see her for much of the show, nakita lang natin ulit siya sa dulo. She gets off from her bed, looking more sullen than usual. You know that something’s not right with her. As if there was anything right with her to begin with but you get my point. Goes in front of the mirror and starts to disrobe. We’ve seen this many times before and iniisip ng karamihan “okay eto nanaman maghuhubad nanaman siya.”

But then this happens:

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ANO TO??? BAKIT GANYAN??? Kahit hindi na siya mag-suot ng damit sa lahat ng episodes for the rest of the season hinding hindi na mabubura sa utak ko yan! So ibig sabihin yan yung sinesex ni Stannis tsaka ni Gendry??? Paano nangyari yun??? Matanda na nga ba siya talaga na nagpapanggap bata lang o naging matanda lang siya dahil nawalan siya ng powers dahil natalo si Stannis? Kung matanda na siya paano siya nanganak ng maligno? Wala bang konsepto ng menopause pag demonyo yung anak mo??? Nasa kwintas ba ang kapangyarihan???

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Bakit dito wala naman siyang kwintas pero di naman siya nag mukhang prune???

And since the show has finally caught up with the books, wala nang puwedeng mang spoil sa atin sa mga mangyayari sa Game of Thrones unless close kayo ni George R.R. Martin. Which means we are in for more exciting things in the future. As for the Presidential elections, well… bahala na ang lord of light pati na rin ang old gods and the new sa atin.

P.S. Ma, aadd na ulit kita sa Facebook.

8/10

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